I'm just sayin'

Okay, this morning I broke. I have been so positive and upbeat that I think I have been scaring the locals. Nice people here keep asking me, "How are you fitting in, Dear?" "How are you adjusting?".

I always reply, "Great! I love it here!" and then get the nod and the look that says, "Alright, her bubble hasn't burst yet, I'll check back later..."

To be honest, I came here slightly drugged. My "chill pill" was prescribed long ago when I was doing chemotherapy to help me sleep. I had a lot of anxiety associated with chemo and stopped sleeping so my oncologist prescribed Temazapam. While preparing to move overseas I stopped sleeping again so my oncologist was happy to give me a temporary fix.

Temporary. I hate that word.

The pill works like a charm. In the evening during "arsenic hour" (thanks, Laura) I take my pill and the world just melts around me. I no longer here the demands of the kids, everything is peachy king, I am happy, pleasant and sleep through the night. I wish I could use it forever. Alas, I found out it is illegal to be in possession of opiods (sp?) in Kazakhstan even if they are prescribed. I could have been arrested, good thing my pills ran out! Last night was my first night in three months without my sweet little friend. I took Ambien but my body really wanted the other medication and protested wildly. I can only explain my withdrawls symptoms as "grieving". I feel like my body is grieving the loss of this fix. I really feel bad for addicts right now because I kind of get how it feels to lose the one thing that helps you feel like a normal person. I spent all night feeling jittery and jumpy. Right now I feel like all my nerves are on fire.

Good time to open my new "Nook" book (Barnes and Noble's crappy version of Kindle) and do a little relaxing reading, right? In theory. Here is the straw that broke my camel's back.

I bought the stupid thing on impulse while Christmas shopping. They had a big display, I was there and the words, "Connect Anytime, Anywhere through Wi-Fi" graced their huge billboard. Cool! I can order books, pay a boatload of money to have them shipped then wait three months for them to arrive (if they do) OR I can just shell out $250 for this nice little Nook, hook it up to my Wi-Fi and download books from Barnes and Nobles. So I purchsed the Nook, packed it away and moved out of the country.

It took us two weeks to get internet connection, three weeks for our wireless router to arrive and many phone calls to get the Russian speaking techie to our house to help us reset our wireless router to which we forgot the password. So sue me, I packed a piece of equipment and forgot where the password was written down. I had a little bit more than I could chew on my plate. After all these hurdles I connect with my nook, register it and purchase TWO books. I can't get my books to download. I can purchase them but can't download them. So after putting the kids to bed I call the 800 number and wait 15 min before I get frustrated and hang up. I tried back this morning and the customer service rep told me that I can't download the books unless I am in the US. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?!

I did what any adult in control of her emotions does, I unloaded a few choice words, told him when I got back to the US I was going to throw my Nook away and get a Kindle and hung up on him. What I should have done was talked to a manager who could actually give me a solution but instead I shot the messenger.

I still have no use of my Nook, I ruined this guy's day (or just provided some entertainment, I don't know which) and I feel bad for losing my mind over a stupid electronic book.

I went to the gym, exercised and then cried in the sauna, a cold sauna, mind you because I didn't have an hour to wait for it to heat up.

So, after coming down off my meds I am realizing that some things are going to bug me. It takes an act of congress to do anything here! Everything is bass akwards. Here is one example:

Yesterday an expat lady told me that she went to a grocery store to purchase a certain hard to find item that the grocery store stopped selling. She asked the grocer when he would carry it again. His reply was, "Yeah, I used to sell that item but then some people kept buying all of it and I had to keep restocking. I stopped selling it because I had to restock it too often." In the US we call sold out shelves sucess but what do we know?

So I guess this is sort of a rant, sorry if you only wanted happy stories. I have woken up to reality and although this is a wonderful experience there are some things that are really gonna frustrate me.

The next time someone asks me, "How are you adjusting, Dear?" I may just say, "This place is a dump, I'm tired of living with idots and I want mexican food!".

Or I could just smile and say, "I love it hear!".